every time i eat asparagus... love

every time i eat asparagus...

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  • Dear Anonymous,

    It seems that every time you eat asparagus you forget who you are and can't remember to sign your letters. That's quite understandable. Memory loss is a well-known side effect of tin poisoning. Please ensure to open the can before you eat the asparagus.

    Abby.

    P.S. I was going to add something here but I can't remember.

    July 2, 2008

  • Canned asparagus the the most vile substance on the planet--completely inedible and bearing absolutely no resemblance in any way to the real thing. I'd sooner starve than eat it.

    But I do sometimes wonder if it makes your pee smell funny...

    July 2, 2008

  • I think it has its uses. Sometimes you only have enough fresh asparagus to make one dish, and you think you'd really rather save it for the meal where you know the difference will be obvious, instead of, say, the crepe filling.

    By the by, chicken and asparagus crepes are to die for!

    July 2, 2008

  • What about pickled asparagus? mmmmm...

    July 2, 2008

  • Pickled, eh? Sounds like it's worth trying. Pickled things are tasty.

    Except gherkins.

    July 2, 2008

  • Never tried pickled asparagus, but I'm game. I do love pickled okra, but it's tough to find outside of the southern US.

    For the longest time, I thought gherkins were pickles.

    July 2, 2008

  • Skipvia: the answer is yes, sort of. It does make your pee smell funny. But only to certain people's noses.

    A good explanation can be found here.

    I, myself, am blessed with the ability to smell these compounds. I suspect, skipvia, that you are similarly blessed. :-)

    July 2, 2008

  • Wow. Talk about counting your blessings...

    Thanks for the explanation, ptery. Very interesting.

    July 2, 2008

  • Pickled asparagus is a joy. I'd love to try pickled okra.

    July 2, 2008

  • gherkins aren't pickles?

    July 3, 2008

  • The pickling makes the okra almost tolerable. Almost as good as frying it.

    July 3, 2008

  • I like okra on kebabs - barbecued.

    July 3, 2008

  • Fried okra, prepared correctly, is humankind's loftiest culinary achievement.

    July 3, 2008

  • You know, there's a whole list of asparagus. Just in case you're interested.

    But is canned asparagus really viler than, say, canned bread? Clamato? Bud Light + Clamato? Pickled pig lips?

    I mean, really, skip. Most vile substance on the planet deserves some careful consideration, and maybe a contest of some sort.

    July 3, 2008

  • Clamato is delicious. Bud Light wins the most vile substance award, no contest.

    Canned bread?!? That has to be a Newfoundland thing.

    July 3, 2008

  • I yield, Asa. I hadn't considered pickled pigs lips, or even head cheese.

    I guess what I should have said is that it is the vilest shadow of the real thing that exists in the world of comestibles. Pickled pigs lips are supposed to be pickled pigs lips. Casu marzu (I'm still having nightmares over that one) is supposed to be decaying cheese with live maggots. But canned asparagus in no way resembles the fresh item.

    But--I love your idea of a list of the vilest substances on the planet.

    *hint hint*

    July 3, 2008

  • Dear All,

    I'm not inviting you people to dinner.

    Abby.

    P.S. Ever.

    July 3, 2008

  • Can we all agree never to mention the c--u m---u cheese, ever again? *horking*

    July 3, 2008

  • Cheeseburger-in-a-Can, anyone?

    July 3, 2008

  • And there goes dinner....*hork*

    July 3, 2008

  • That's a wonderfully bizarre phrase on the cheeseburger page, 'ideal fast food treat for the wilderness'.

    July 3, 2008

  • Well, it's not always possible to find a McDonalds in the puckerbrush.

    July 3, 2008

  • 1) All asparagus is disgusting, canned or no *horks*

    2) So is okra

    3) Someone please tell me how gherkins are not a kind of pickle! ETA WordNet says "any of various small cucumbers pickled whole" - aka pickle

    4) I love the word gherkin. Imagine if we never said boring old pickle again and instead referred to everything as gherkined okra or whatever. The world would be an awesomer place.

    5) Now the word pickle looks weird to me.

    6) Best blog about eating the most disgusting things known to man? Steve, Don't Eat It! I have spent hours laughing until I cried reading his descriptions of the unbelievably foul foods he's eaten. Language warning, he is quite crude. One of the reasons I love it.

    July 3, 2008

  • PS because I cannot bear to edit a 10th time - this word is earworming me with "Every Time You Go Away" (You Take a Piece of Me With You). Needs a parody but what the hell rhymes with asparagus? Bus? Pus? Prolagus?

    July 3, 2008

  • *sings*

    ... it gets stuck in my oesophagus

    July 3, 2008

  • And bilby gets it in one!

    July 3, 2008

  • Regarding #3, arby--gherkin is the name of a variety of small cucumber grown for pickling. It's a gherkin before it gets pickled. So, are "gherkin" and "pickled gherkin" synonymous? This is so confusing...

    Edit: Oh, and many thanks for the reference to Steve's site. It's twisted and disgusting. I love it!

    July 3, 2008

  • Dear All,

    What Abby said. *gags*

    Signed,

    Dieting for the Rest of My Life

    July 3, 2008

  • arby -- Thanks for "Steve, Don't Eat It!" Not since the "Bass-O-Matic" have I been simultaneously in hysterics over and disgusted by "food!"

    BTW: I love your Turkey Reuben!

    July 3, 2008

  • Too right. Well done Steve ... ironguts.

    July 3, 2008

  • eeeew! I love how this conversation went from lighthearted pickle-and-asparagus banter to a veritable gallery of regrettable food...

    July 3, 2008

  • Your wish is my command, skip. Here's your list. Have fun!

    July 3, 2008

  • Why double post, why?!?!?

    *shakes tiny fists*

    July 4, 2008

  • Thanks skipvia for the gherkin info! (Side note #1: doesn't gherkin almost sound like it could be used as a substitute curse word? Kind of less lame than using sugar for shit) (Side note #2: Weird words that rhyme with "gherkin" - firkin, merkin - I feel a limerick coming on!)

    Everyone is so welcome for the Steve Don't Eat It, I'm proud to have found a community that can appreciate his truly sick & twisted humor!

    July 4, 2008

  • "Gherkin" and "merkin" should make for a very...interesting limerick, arby. I can hardly wait.

    July 4, 2008

  • It's been done! See uselessness' excellent limerick at firkin.

    So now we've come full circle. We can all go home now.

    *keeps typing*

    July 4, 2008

  • Hilarious!

    July 4, 2008

  • Wordie contains EVERYTHING.

    July 4, 2008

  • Every time i eat asparagus...

    I THROW UP!!

    Asparaagus is discusting!!

    once again, fellow wordies, sorry for my spelling!

    HEHE!! XD

    Keep up the god work!

    July 7, 2008

  • We tend to leave the god work around here to John. The rest of us take care of the less godly work, such as making up new words and applying the Wordie Treatment.

    Sooo tempted...

    July 7, 2008

  • Take deep breaths, skip.

    July 7, 2008

  • *trying not to hyperventilate*

    July 7, 2008

  • Hiperventelate! That's an AWESOME WORD Skip!!!!

    July 7, 2008

  • You're making this very difficult, bilby.

    If palooka were here, he'd know what to do...

    July 7, 2008

  • I am here, skipvia. Be quiet, and don't pop the paper bag you're breathing in.

    July 7, 2008

  • Me? An asian provocatour?

    July 7, 2008

  • What? Say, Brookdale-chick has some open lists that need some, uh, additions?

    July 7, 2008

  • What's going on around here? Are you guys pickling merkins without me?

    July 7, 2008

  • Palooka, sir...awaiting your orders.

    July 7, 2008

  • I know you have some Awesome Words to add & I think our contributions would be appreciated.

    July 7, 2008

  • They're not Awesome Words, they're AWESOME WORDS!!!!!!!!

    July 7, 2008

  • I thought palooka was a she?

    *easily confused*

    PS to frogapplause - yes, but we can stop now that you're here.

    July 9, 2008

  • Palooka can answer that. He/she may be a hermaphrodite.

    July 9, 2008

  • Well, palooka definitely doesn't have nipples. That's been made clear.

    July 10, 2008

  • He does so, he just won't admit it.

    ;)

    July 10, 2008

  • Every time I eeeeeeat asparagus... I take a piece of me, with yoooooooou...

    *sings*

    (thanks a lot, arby...)

    October 30, 2008

  • ....I think of Euell Gibbons stalking the wild asparagus!! (especially the the skinny, delicious ones).

    Here is a list of his books:

    # Stalking the Wild Asparagus (1962)

    # Stalking the Blue-Eyed Scallop (1964)

    # Stalking the Healthful Herbs (1966)

    # Stalking the Good Life (1966)

    # Beachcomber's Handbook (1967)

    # Stalking the Faraway Places (1973)

    Stalking seems to have been a common theme of his.

    March 20, 2009

  • You may have missed the somewhat related Euell Gibbons discussion on lingonberry, fb.

    March 20, 2009

  • We have a family friend in his 60s who my mum sometimes gives a lift around town. We asked him time and time again to come for dinner. Finally, he agreed and Mama served fresh asparagus. He was rapt. The next day we drove him to see his mother in the nursing home. He told her all about the dinner and added excitedly, "and we had fresh asparagus!" She gave him a withering look and replied, "You don't have to eat it like that any more, Jeffery. You can get it in tins now."

    It was very difficult to keep a straight face.

    March 20, 2009

  • Haha! Great story!

    March 20, 2009

  • Just...wonderful.

    March 20, 2009

  • Here is Euell at his best for those of you too young to remember: Grape Nuts

    March 21, 2009